Queen Bees and Wanna Bees

Have you ever tried to make friends in new situations and it just does not work. You never know if it is because you are new, or if the kids are already set in their groups, or if something new is a threat to their social network. Sometimes if you are a new person trying to make friends and you are shy or you read social cues differently you may not understand the whole social situation at all. Then you feel left out. You might cling to a friend and not want them to play with other people, and then neither of you can make new friends.

Then there is a Queen bee. You know the one, the kid who tells everyone else what to do and who to talk to. What if you don’t want to be told what to do or who to talk to or what to think? This can be tough. You have to watch the situation and take in all the information. Then you can decide how to survive the situation. Lets face it, it can literally just be surviving sometimes.

The Wanna bees usually follow the Queen, they are usually nice people who have to act differently to be liked by the one who is more dominant. They may want to be friends with other kids too but they are sort of kept in a group. I do not understand wanting someone to be controlling your decisions but I do know that is always nice to be included. It is a balance. 

I am not going to tell you what you should do if you are in a situation like this, but remember school is hard. Trying to resolve issues is important to general social survival. If you can be happy with yourself and make a plan to work on finding your social group that is comfortable for you, then that is enough. Be you and in time you will find people who like you for you. Just remember if you change to be like someone else it is always temporary. Every morning you still wake up being you.

 

Happy Summer- Ava